Some days the pain wins

Days like today I feel less than myself. I get upset that I have to deal with so much pain, on such a regular basis. It’s 7:30 pm and I’m falling asleep on the couch from pain and exhaustion while my kids and boyfriend eat dinner and watch a movie. I miss out on family moments because the pain steals me away. I know they understand and are used to it but that doesn’t make it any better.

I’m only 30. If I’m this exhausted now how tired will I be at 40 or 52. I don’t want to have this pain. I don’t want to have the responsibility of this disability. I know it’s the pain talking but sometimes it’s too loud to stop it.

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